For the sophisticated lady or gentleman who desire that cosmopolitan edge over their wealthy compatriots, the third largest bank in Europe is offering a solid gold bank card to match the Saddam-style gold faucet knobs in the master bedroom bidet. This exclusive offer by Russia’s Sberbank in Khazakhstan features a solid gold Visa card that’s embossed with pearl and studded with 26 diamonds. This card can be yours for a cool $100,000 of which $65,000 goes toward minting the card. The other $35,000 stays on the card to use for purchasing trinkets and doodads and windshield wipers for the Bugatti Veyron.
Some Gold analysts believe that Sberbank is trying to catch up with the MasterCard offered by Kozkommertsbank back in 2008 that offered a diamond-encrusted card to its bling-loving depositors.
No matter, though, as the Sberbank card stands miles above other cards that fraudulently call themselves gold. This 24 Karat gold card is the real thing with no second-class alloys like silver permitted.
The card weighs a jaunty 40 to 50 grams. One would think that for $65,000, the minters could agree on a weight, but such are mere trifling concerns when there’s real gold to flash. As matters like this must be, the fees for the first year are waived. After that, the bank will be pleased to accept a mandatory $2,000 annual fee.
That fee will ensure a seat in the business-class waiting room while making a connection to Monte Carlo where the super-yacht waits at Port Hercule. A 24/7 phone concierge service is tossed in along with discounts for hotel suites, gustation restaurants and, of course, car rentals with chauffeurs and backseat bars. In expressing its undying gratitude, Sberbank will toss in a gratis iPhone 5 and a premium holder for the card. Neither, though, are fashioned from gold.
Should the card holder be justifiably hesitant to insert this card into an ATM machine, the bank offers a second card of plastic for those more questionable locations. If, perchance, the butler or nanny enter the wrong PIN number three times and the solid gold bank card is inhaled by the ATM, the bank is mum on whether or not the card is smelted and returned.
